Ray Allen And Rashard Lewis Join King Of Crappolla At Miami Geriatric Center

New York Vinnie would truly like to give LeBron James his Propers for winning both the NBA MVP Trophy and his first NBA Title; but just like the “King Of Crappolla” could not bring himself to congratulate Dwight Howard after the Orlando Magic beat the Cleveland Cavaliers behinds in the 2009 NBA Eastern Conference Finals; New York Vinnie now finds myself in a similar situation. Your Old Pal New York Vinnie used to think that James was one of the good-guys of the NBA until “PUDLEY DO-WRONG” left his former team in a “FRICKIN” smoking hole to got to the Heat and then stuck out his tongue at the Cavaliers every time they messed up.

Now that New York Vinnie got that off my chest we can get to the real purpose of this column to talk about the two newest members of the Heat who according to “ESPN.com” signed contracts with the squad on Wednesday. When race-horses best days are behind them they are put out to pasture where they spend the rest of their days in comfort enjoying the company of female horses; if you catch New York Vinnie’s drift.

In the NBA when superstar players find their skills heading south they put their “John Hancock” on a contract with the “Miami Geriatric Center” otherwise known as the Heat. Miami had Juwan Howard on their roster this past season a guy who has been in the NBA since the “FRICKIN” ball had laces! This summer their “FRICKIN Golden Oldies” are forward Rashard Lewis and guard Ray Allen.

Lewis was a dominant player on the Magic team that went to the NBA Finals in 2009, but he seemed to lose his game almost overnight and soon found himself in “FRICKIN SKID ROW” as a member of the Washington Wizards. The Wizards traded him last month to the New Orleans Hornets who gave him his $13 million and told him not to let the “FRICKIN” door hit him on the keister on the way out. He has signed a two-year contract with Miami for the veteran’s minimum which is about what he is worth these days.

The Allen situation is a different kettle of fish; in that Allen still has talent although he is not the same player he was in 2008 when he helped Boston win the title. This past season Allen was running the floor on a pair of bad pins and it effected his production on the court. After being out because both ankles had bone spurs he was coming off the bench when he returned replaced by second-year guard Avery Bradley. Allen started the East Finals against Miami but that was only because Bradley went down for the count with a shoulder injury.

The Celtics wanted to bring him back for next season but My Man Ray-Ray got his panties all bunched up in a “FRICKIN” knot because he was taken out of the starting lineup and there were rumors that Boston had tried to send him to the Memphis Grizzlies in return for O.J. Mayo. Boston offered a two-year deal for a total of $12 million but Allen took a three-year deal from Miami for a max of $9.5 million if he hits all his incentives. It does not take “FRICKIN Stephen Hawking” to figure out that Allen took a lesser deal to try to hurt the Celtics; when he only screwed himself.

Miami lucked out this past season in the playoffs as they played “MY BOYS” in the first round with the Knicks playing without Lin and Shumpert got hurt in the series plus Amar’e went “FRICKIN NUTSO” duking it out with a “FRICKIN FIRE EXTINGUISHER” busting up his hand in the process. The Pacers got the lead then ran off like a bunch of little girls when the Heat responded and Boston’s age and lack of depth due to injuries did them in. The Thunder then melted under the glare of the national spotlight and the Heat won their “FRICKIN PRECIOUS TROPHY” at last.

They won’t be as hungry next season and we are seeing other teams improve in the East such as New York Vinnie’s team the Knicks, the Brooklyn Nets and the Celtics. So Ray and Rashard welcome to the “Miami Geriatric Center“; you may soon find out it is not as good as it looked in the brochure!

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